LIFE GOES ON By: Mcdonald Masse
Saturday, May 18, 2013
How to avoid relationship regrets
LIFE GOES ON By: Mcdonald Masse
Step Away from the Phone and Computer
Be More Attentive
Get Creative
Sex positions for conceiving baby girl
You've been dreaming of having a little girl ever since you were one yourself, but now that the time has finally arrived to start trying for a baby, you're wondering how the heck you increase your chances of conceiving a female.
Try girl on top
Hoping
for a girl? Then you might want to hop on top during sex! Although no
single position can guarantee your baby's gender 100 percent, Dr. Ava
Cadell, spokesperson for The Experience Channel and renowned love and
sex therapist, says that to have a girl, the woman should be on top so
that she can control the depth of penetration. Instead of "going deep',
your partner should ejaculate as close to the opening of your vagina as
possible. This will make it much more difficult for the male sperm to
reach your egg, since they have a shorter lifespan than female sperm do.
Do it missionary style
Turns
out, good old-fashioned sex could be your golden ticket to getting
pregnant with a girl. "Some believe that the best position to conceive a
girl is the missionary position,' notes Stacy Rybchin, founder of My
Secret Luxury. "Sperm with the X-chromosome (female sperm) travel slower
and can survive up to five days.' Because penetration isn't typically
as deep in this position, the sperm have a longer way to go, giving the
females a clear advantage.
Experiment with spooning
Another
common sex position believed to help couples conceive a female is
spooning. And what girl doesn't love to spoon, right!? This position,
like the others mentioned above, allows for shallow penetration only,
therefore upping the chances of a female sperm actually reaching and
fertilizing the egg first.
Time it just right
According
to experienced nurse and midwife Carmen Kosicek, RN, MSN, couples
trying for a girl should have intercourse more frequently, stopping two
to three days prior to ovulation. "The female sperm live longer, up to
72 hours,' she explains, "so the theory behind this would be that the
sperm left around when the egg is present would be the female sperm.'
Tailor your diet
Dr.
Cadell points to a study done by researchers at the University of
Exeter in England, which surveyed 740 first-time mothers, as well as a
study by Maastricht University in the Netherlands, to prove her point:
"Both studies confirmed that to boost the odds of conceiving a girl,
women should say yes to calcium and magnesium rich foods, such as
yogurt, tofu, milk, oatmeal, almonds, spinach, broccoli, beans, cashews
and oranges.'
Conversely, they should steer clear of foods high in salt and potassium, like potatoes, bacon, bread, shrimp and smoked salmon. The reason for this? In short, the diet is thought to enhance the acidity of a woman's body, and thus her uterine environment, making it easier for those female sperm to thrive and survive, of course.
Sex positions for conceiving baby boy
Whether you're absolutely dying for a baby boy your first time around or are just hoping to add a little guy to your brood of girls, experiment with these sex positions, as well as diet and timing tips, to help up your odds of conceiving a male.
Try it from behind
Also
known as "Doggie Style,' this position is highly recommended to couples
hoping to conceive a boy, says Stacy Rybchin, founder of My Secret
Luxury. Why? "Because it allows for deeper penetration, and
consequently, during ejaculation, the male sperm get deposited closer to
the cervix.' In general, male sperm are faster, but they don't live as
long as females do, so the less distance they have to travel, the
better!
Do it standing up
Apparently to
conceive a boy, all you gotta do is have sex standing up! This position,
like doggie style, enables deep penetration and is also thought to give
the faster male sperm an advantage seeing as sperm must swim against
gravity to get to the egg. While not backed by science, it's worth a
shot if you're hoping for a male.
Wait until you ovulate
Timing
is, of course, everything when it comes to making a baby. Believe it or
not though, the day you do the deed (and the days you don't too!) can
potentially influence the gender of your child. To increase your chances
of a boy, experienced nurse and midwife Carmen Kosicek, RN, MSN,
advises avoiding intercourse in the days (at least four or five) leading
up to ovulation. Then do it the day of, she directs. Since male sperm
are faster swimmers, the theory here is that'd they'd reach the egg
first before the females. "Now, the trick is figuring out exactly when
you ovulate!' Don't worry ladies there are kits for that.
Consume more calories
And
eat cereal for breakfast! "A study conducted by researchers at the
University of Exeter in the UK suggests that upping your calorie intake
by at least 400 calories per day and consuming cereal especially, along
with bananas, fish, vegetables and other high energy foods, can help
lead to conception of a boy,' reveals Dr. Ava Cadell, spokesperson for
The Experience Channel and renowned love and sex therapist. Interesting,
huh?
'Can I get him back without seeming desperate or needy?'
| as it was in the beginning,so shall it be ,the world will never change By: Mcdonald Masse |
If you're a woman who has tried to get your ex back, you've most likely taken the 'desperate times call for desperate measures' approach, causing you to do all kinds of unfortunate things, including the walk of shame and the drunk dial. These unflattering behaviors render you his doormat, and ultimately push him away.
I know how excruciating it is when you still love him after your relationship ends. I've been the desperate woman who has tried unsuccessfully to get (a couple of) my exe(s) back. What I remember most is feeling insecure during the process and embarrassed about some of the things I did. My wake-up call in 2007 changed me for the better.
In 2007, I experienced some big setbacks, including a breakup with a man I loved dearly. I was devastated, and deep inside sensed our relationship wasn't over. These setbacks helped me learn how to love myself. The more I loved myself, the less my desire to behave in desperate ways to get him back.
My approach wasn't about initiating and worrying whether or not he would come back. It was about responding and having an inner-knowing that he would come back because he wanted to, while at the same time knowing that I would be fine if he didn't.
This empowering, six-step approach led him back to me and made me his wife.
1. Don't disagree with why things ended: If he brings up the reasons why your relationship ended, don't disagree with him. Find the truth in what he's saying, acknowledge it and apologize for it. It's better to be happy and loved than to be right. Wanting to be right is your ego stepping in and overshadowing your soul's desire to be happy and loved.
2. Don't try to convince him of all the reasons why he should come back to you: Trying to convince your ex why he should come back to you pushes him further away. It reinforces why he's better off without you because you appear needy and desperate. Needy and desperate are traits that will kill any attraction he may have for you.
Men are drawn to women who are happy with themselves. So, be happy, live your life and let your radiant energy cause him to second guess why you're not together. Remember, you are a prize. You should never have to convince him to be with you.
3. Take responsibility for your role in the breakup: In every breakup you've experienced, you're the common denominator. Instead of blaming him for what's happened, look within and determine how you contributed to the demise of your relationship. For instance, if you've tended to question your exes because you have a hard time trusting them, you have trust issues. Do the inner work to learn how to trust yourself so that you become more trusting. If he comes back, this issue won't resurface and cause another breakup.
4. Let him come to you: A man places a higher value on getting what he has to work for. When you miss your ex, don't make it easy for him. Instead of calling him during a weak moment, call a supportive friend. The space created lets him miss you and wonder what you're doing. He will contact you because he wants to see you, wants a booty call (decline politely), misses you, etc. When he does, respond accordingly. Avoid having sex with him until the issues that led to the break up are resolved.
5. Put yourself first: Put yourself first and do what's best for you. When he comes to you, don't pick up where the relationship left off. At this point, he has more of an incentive to resolve the issues that led to the breakup because he wants you back. Now is the time to address and work through these issues. Don't let him convince you that the problem was yours. Even if the problem started with you, the way he responded or didn't respond made things worse.
Do the inner work to resolve these issues without letting him know you're doing the work. The reason you don't need to let him know is because he won't believe it until he experiences the changes. Just do the work and see how he responds. If he responds positively, you're moving in the right direction. If he continues responding in the way that contributed to your breakup, he's not the one for you.
6. Hold a clear and positive vision Be clear on how you want your relationship to be this time around. Then behave and act in ways that support your vision and make you feel good about yourself. Let things unfold naturally and stay open to the outcome. If you find yourself becoming obsessed with getting your ex back, relax and trust that things will work out for your greater good. If he doesn't come back, understand that there may be someone else who is better for you. Let God, the higher power, the Universe or whatever you believe in bring you the man you're supposed to be with.
Caveat: He is not worth getting back with if he uses you, is a freeloader, is verbally, physically and/or emotionally abusive towards you, influences you to do things that are immoral, unethical or illegal, has substance abuse problems, blames others and never takes responsibility for himself, cheats, lies or can't be trusted.
You will be fine. The benefits of this approach are immense. If he comes back, you'll have a more loving and fulfilling relationship. You'll have set a higher standard for how he loves and treats you. If he doesn't come back, you are a stronger and better person. You will attract a man who is better for you. In either case, you will have a more loving relationship with yourself.
Is your marriage sex-starved? Don't ignore it, set a sex schedule
The longer you're together, the more 'efficient' you'll be sexually and sex becomes business-like and brief
| TOMORROW BELONGS TO THOSE WHO PREPARE FOR IT TODAY. By: Mcdonald Masse |
When was the last time you 'did the deed'? Can't remember or don't want to and definitely don't want to talk about it? This is for you: six simple steps to get your mojo back!
Confront the problem
Tackle
anger issues: If there's lots of anger and resentment over sex on
either side, call a truce.Force yourselves to talk about what's going
on: You can't shut couples up talking about sex when it's going great,
then when you really need to talk - when problems hit - you're both
quieter than a three-year-old discovering their Mum's make-up stash.
Approach it as a couple problem that's no-one's fault: no-one's 'right' or 'wrong'. The person who wants sex more isn't 'sexier' or 'better'.The person who wants sex less isn't 'frigid' or the one with 'the problem'. If there's a desire mismatch, one of you feels rejected, the other feels pressured and hassled. It doesn't feel great on either side.
Set realistic aims together
Embrace
the dreaded 'C' word.compromise. The high desire person decides on the
least amount of sex per fortnight they'd be happy with. The low desire
person decides on the most often they'd be willing to do it. Then you
choose the number in the middle of the two. Talk about what you'd like
to do in the sex sessions: say what you most like and least like,
focusing more on the positives than negatives. Talk about when you did
have great sex. What made it work when it worked?
Don't expect it to be solved overnight. After the first honest chat, couples often feel so liberated, uplifted and relieved, it feels like everything is fixed already - just by talking! You've tackled the hardest part - admitting there's a problem - but there's still a little way to go before you start to see real results in the bedroom.
Set a sex schedule
Make
dates for sex, don't just wait for it to happen. Find the whole idea of
planning sex deeply off-putting? Do you expect to turn up to the best
restaurant in town without making a booking? No. Does it put you off
going once you've booked because you know it's going to happen? Quite
the opposite. So what's the problem with planning sex?
Plan for it just as you would any big night out. Just as you try out new restaurants, try out new sex styles, techniques and experiences.
Act on a mere flicker of lust
You
sort of wouldn't mind if you had sex? Don't just ponder the thought,
pounce on it - and do it as soon as you can! Studies show the more time
that passes between having an idea and following up on it, the more
likely you are to lose motivation. Think of your sex life as a bank
account: You need to make regular deposits to keep the balance healthy
Be the one to make the first move
Being
the one to suggest sex will make you feel instantly powerful and sexier
- especially if your partner is the one usually initiating. But make
sure the move isn't so subtle, they miss it. Have an agreed private code
that says 'Sex today/tonight?'. Put two different magnets on the fridge
and place yours high if you're up for it.
Change the way you have sex
The
longer you're together, the more 'efficient' you'll be sexually. Sex
becomes business-like and brief. You know each other's triggers and
buttons to push and press them accordingly. The easiest way is transform
your tired techniques is to buy a sex book packed with practical
techniques as a present for the two of you. Say it's to keep sex fresh,
rather than to liven things up. It's a subtle difference but an
important one: one implies curiosity, the other boredom.
Five worst sex positions ever
Has your whole sex life been a lie? Women rated common moves like doggy style, reverse cowgirl, and 69 as the worst sex positions.
Chances are, those sex staples have been in your arsenal since you bought your first condom. Men have long relied on standard moves like missionary because they're easy, efficient, and feel greatbut as it turns out, women have quietly been cursing them the whole time.
To pinpoint the source of female frustration, we consulted with top experts to uncover why your five favorite positions just aren't cutting itand the upgrades you must make to satisfy her sex drive.
Doggy Style
Why
she's not into it: Put simply, it's too painful. 'The issue here is you
may be ramming her cervix, which is why deep penetration is often more
harmful than hot,' says Sara Gottfried, M.D., OB/GYN, author of The
Hormone Cure. Plus, if you're fully removing yourself, then re-entering
her, it often hurts her chances at staying fully lubricated, Dr.
Gottfried explains.
Women in our survey also said doggy's not intimate enough. Even though rough sex can be awesome if you're both into it, most women are looking for more of a connection during sex, Dr. Gottfried says. While you may have a blast admiring her assets when she's on all fours, her view of the bed isn't nearly as stimulating.
How to fix it
To
prevent the bump and grind from getting painful, keep your thrusts
short and shallow, rather than deep and fast. Shallow thrusts will
stimulate the front third of her vagina, which is the most sensitive
part, says Rebecca Rosenblat, a sex therapist and the author of Seducing
Your Man.
Up the intimacy factor by running your hands through her hair, down her spine, and occasionally leaning forward to kiss and suck on her neck. And don't forget the clitoral stimulation, Dr. Gottfried advises. Just because you're focusing on her backside, doesn't mean you should neglect her most sensitive spots.
Woman on Top
Why
she isn't into it: One word: insecurity. According to our survey, a
majority of women feel more self-conscious when they're on top. Dr.
Gottfried says women often worry about what their stomachs or breasts
look like from where you're laying. And even though you think she looks
like a rock star, even the tiniest shred of doubt can put out her fire.
How to fix it
Switch
into a side-by-side position like 'The Spork.' Have her lie on her
back, and raise her right leg. Slot yourself between her legs at a
90-degree angle and ease inside her. This way, her legs will form the
tines of a spork utensil.
Reverse Cowgirl
Why
she's not into it: Because it's hard for her to climax like thatand not
everything fits when she's riding in reverse. 'Reverse cowgirl may seem
sexy and adventurous, but when you actually try to enter her, things
might not fit the way you think that they should,' says Jen Landa, M.D.,
Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive
Solution for Women. It often boils down to the curvature of your penis
not coinciding with the angle of her vagina, Dr. Landa says.
Realistically, any time you bend your penis too far at the base, it's
not only uncomfortable for her, it becomes dangerous for you. In other
words, you can break your junk.
How to fix it
If
you're in it for the view, switch to doggy (with our upgrades, of
course). The fit's more practical, and you can help her reach orgasm,
says Dr. Landa.
But if you still want the naughtiness factor, put the doggy to bed. Do this: Stand up, have her bend forward, place her hands on a stable mirror, then enter her from behind. You'll still be able to manually stimulate her, but now you can both use the mirror to your advantage.
Missionary
Why she's not into
it: It doesn't hit the right spots. 'And if you're on the smaller end of
the spectrum, this position doesn't really accentuate your size,' Dr.
Landa says.
How to fix it
Try using the Coital
Alignment Technique (CAT)just don't call it that in bed. The position
is similar to missionary, except your body is farther up and to one
side. (So rather than being chest to chest, your chest is near her
shoulders.) Have her bend her legs about 45 degrees to tilt her hips up,
which causes the base of your shaft to maintain constant contact with
her clitoris.
Even though the name is a mouthful, the move is proven to work: Women who were unable to climax in regular missionary were 56 percent more likely to climax using CAT, according to a study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.
69
Why
she's not into it: She's, well, preoccupied. According to our survey
results, women say it's too difficult to focus on receiving pleasure
when they have to concentrate on giving it. And pleasure and reaching
climax is heavily determined by her mental state, Dr. Landa says. So it
becomes difficult to relax and enjoy your oral skills if she's trying to
take care of your needs at the same time.
How to fix it
If
you want her to get the most out of oral, you're better off taking
turns giving and receiving. Many women claim 69 feels anonymous to them,
because they want their partner to be able to look them in the eyes and
feel a connection, says Gottfried. So if you stick to giving first,
she's way more likely to enjoy herself.
Women live longer than men-their immune systems age more slowly
| If you give the devil your little finger,he's sure to grab your whole arm! By: Mcdonald Masse |
Women live longer than men partly because their immune systems age more slowly, a new study has revealed.
As their body defences weaken with the passing years, the increasing susceptibility of men to disease shortens their lives, it is claimed.
Life expectancy in the UK is 79 years for men and 82 for women, according to the World Health Organisation.
In Japan, where the research took place, the gap is wider. There, the average lifespan of men is the same as in the UK, but women live to 85.5.
The study involved examining blood samples from healthy volunteers with a wide range of ages.
Scientists tested the blood of 356 men and women aged between 20 and 90 and looked at levels of white blood cells and immune system signalling molecules called cytokines.
In both sexes, the number of white blood cells per person decreased with age, but closer study revealed striking differences between men and women.
The rate of decline of most T-cell and B-cell lymphocytes, two key elements of the immune system, was faster in men.
Similarly, men showed a more rapid age-related decline in the two cytokines, IL-6 and IL-10.
Two specific types of immune system cell that actively destroy foreign invaders, CD4 T-cells and natural killer (NK) cells, increased in number with age. In this case, the rate of increase was higher in women than in men.
NK cells are believed to be one of the body's first lines of defence against cancer.
The research, led by Professor Katsuiku Hirokawa, from Tokyo Medical and Dental University, appears in the online journal Immunity and Ageing.
The scientists wrote: 'Age-related changes in various immunological parameters differ between men and women. Our findings indicate that the slower rate of decline in these immunological parameters in women than in men is consistent with the fact that women live longer than do men.'
Immune system mechanisms not only protect the body from infection and cancer, but can cause disease when not properly regulated.
Inflammation is a potentially damaging immune system response that contributes to heart and artery disease and could play a role in dementia.
The cytokine IL-10 is an important regulator of inflammation, helping to put the brakes on the immune system to keep it under control.
Its faster decline in men suggests that as men age they might more rapidly be affected by inflammatory conditions.
Professor Hirokawa said: 'The process of ageing is different for men and women for many reasons. Women have more oestrogen than men which seems to protect them from cardiovascular disease until menopause. Sex hormones also affect the immune system, especially certain types of lymphocytes.
'Because people age at different rates, a person's immunological parameters could be used to provide an indication of their true biological age.'
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