Has your whole sex life been a lie? Women rated common moves like
doggy style, reverse cowgirl, and 69 as the worst sex positions.
Chances
are, those sex staples have been in your arsenal since you bought your
first condom. Men have long relied on standard moves like missionary
because they're easy, efficient, and feel greatbut as it turns out,
women have quietly been cursing them the whole time.
To pinpoint
the source of female frustration, we consulted with top experts to
uncover why your five favorite positions just aren't cutting itand the
upgrades you must make to satisfy her sex drive.
Doggy Style
Why
she's not into it: Put simply, it's too painful. 'The issue here is you
may be ramming her cervix, which is why deep penetration is often more
harmful than hot,' says Sara Gottfried, M.D., OB/GYN, author of The
Hormone Cure. Plus, if you're fully removing yourself, then re-entering
her, it often hurts her chances at staying fully lubricated, Dr.
Gottfried explains.
Women in our survey also said doggy's not
intimate enough. Even though rough sex can be awesome if you're both
into it, most women are looking for more of a connection during sex, Dr.
Gottfried says. While you may have a blast admiring her assets when
she's on all fours, her view of the bed isn't nearly as stimulating.
How to fix it
To
prevent the bump and grind from getting painful, keep your thrusts
short and shallow, rather than deep and fast. Shallow thrusts will
stimulate the front third of her vagina, which is the most sensitive
part, says Rebecca Rosenblat, a sex therapist and the author of Seducing
Your Man.
Up the intimacy factor by running your hands through
her hair, down her spine, and occasionally leaning forward to kiss and
suck on her neck. And don't forget the clitoral stimulation, Dr.
Gottfried advises. Just because you're focusing on her backside, doesn't
mean you should neglect her most sensitive spots.
Woman on Top
Why
she isn't into it: One word: insecurity. According to our survey, a
majority of women feel more self-conscious when they're on top. Dr.
Gottfried says women often worry about what their stomachs or breasts
look like from where you're laying. And even though you think she looks
like a rock star, even the tiniest shred of doubt can put out her fire.
How to fix it
Switch
into a side-by-side position like 'The Spork.' Have her lie on her
back, and raise her right leg. Slot yourself between her legs at a
90-degree angle and ease inside her. This way, her legs will form the
tines of a spork utensil.
Reverse Cowgirl
Why
she's not into it: Because it's hard for her to climax like thatand not
everything fits when she's riding in reverse. 'Reverse cowgirl may seem
sexy and adventurous, but when you actually try to enter her, things
might not fit the way you think that they should,' says Jen Landa, M.D.,
Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive
Solution for Women. It often boils down to the curvature of your penis
not coinciding with the angle of her vagina, Dr. Landa says.
Realistically, any time you bend your penis too far at the base, it's
not only uncomfortable for her, it becomes dangerous for you. In other
words, you can break your junk.
How to fix it
If
you're in it for the view, switch to doggy (with our upgrades, of
course). The fit's more practical, and you can help her reach orgasm,
says Dr. Landa.
But if you still want the naughtiness factor, put
the doggy to bed. Do this: Stand up, have her bend forward, place her
hands on a stable mirror, then enter her from behind. You'll still be
able to manually stimulate her, but now you can both use the mirror to
your advantage.
Missionary
Why she's not into
it: It doesn't hit the right spots. 'And if you're on the smaller end of
the spectrum, this position doesn't really accentuate your size,' Dr.
Landa says.
How to fix it
Try using the Coital
Alignment Technique (CAT)just don't call it that in bed. The position
is similar to missionary, except your body is farther up and to one
side. (So rather than being chest to chest, your chest is near her
shoulders.) Have her bend her legs about 45 degrees to tilt her hips up,
which causes the base of your shaft to maintain constant contact with
her clitoris.
Even though the name is a mouthful, the move is
proven to work: Women who were unable to climax in regular missionary
were 56 percent more likely to climax using CAT, according to a study
from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.
69
Why
she's not into it: She's, well, preoccupied. According to our survey
results, women say it's too difficult to focus on receiving pleasure
when they have to concentrate on giving it. And pleasure and reaching
climax is heavily determined by her mental state, Dr. Landa says. So it
becomes difficult to relax and enjoy your oral skills if she's trying to
take care of your needs at the same time.
How to fix it
If
you want her to get the most out of oral, you're better off taking
turns giving and receiving. Many women claim 69 feels anonymous to them,
because they want their partner to be able to look them in the eyes and
feel a connection, says Gottfried. So if you stick to giving first,
she's way more likely to enjoy herself.
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